And so it begins......

I used to make forty dollars an hour with an expense account before I went to prison. My first job in prison, I made forty cents per hour. Yep, forty cents. My first job out of prison I made forty dollars a day. 


Really, is it possible to fall any lower than that? Believe me, you can. I have fallen hard and lost almost everything and everyone that was dear to me. Now, I am fighting and struggling  to have a "normal" life again. Each day is a struggle to fight through the remorse and despair I feel by the bad decisions I have made and the fall out from those. Each day I am swamped with regrets and fear.


I was a mom to four wonderful children. And I have harmed them in many, many ways. My oldest boys no longer speak to me. I have hurt them that badly. 


This is my struggle to return and recover from my time in prison. My daily struggle to live in a work release center. This is my struggle to become whole again and to regain the trust of my family.


This will not be pretty. It really is ugly. I have not been a good person at times. But, I want to be again. I WILL be again.  This is my story of loss, despair, harm, fear and recovery.


Many of the things that have happened to me are quite funny.  At least they are to me, if I have learned nothing else in the journey. If you don't laugh, you will cry.